Loneliness is the distressing feeling that arises when there is a gap between the social connections you want and the ones you actually have. It is not the same as being alone. Some people enjoy solitude and feel perfectly content with limited social contact. Loneliness, by contrast, is an unwanted sense of disconnection that can occur whether you are by yourself or surrounded by people.

Common signs and symptoms of loneliness include:

• Persistent feelings of isolation or emptiness, even when other people are physically present.
• A sense that your relationships lack depth and that no one truly knows or understands you.
• Difficulty initiating or maintaining conversations, making plans, or reaching out to others.
• Increased self-doubt and negative self-talk, such as believing you are unlikable or burdensome.
• Withdrawal from activities you previously enjoyed, especially social ones.
• Changes in sleep, appetite, or energy levels that do not have a clear medical cause.
• Over-reliance on passive social media use as a substitute for in-person interaction, which research suggests can worsen feelings of loneliness.
• Physical symptoms such as headaches, fatigue, or a weakened immune response. Chronic loneliness triggers sustained stress responses in the body that can impair health over time.

Loneliness can be emotional (lacking a close confidant or intimate bond), social (lacking a wider network of friends, colleagues, or community ties), or existential (a deep sense of separateness from others and from meaning). Many people experience more than one type at the same time.

Loneliness is not a formal psychiatric diagnosis in the DSM-5 or ICD-11. However, it is widely recognized as a significant risk factor for mental health conditions such as major depressive disorder, generalized anxiety disorder, social anxiety disorder, and substance use disorders. In 2023, the U.S. Surgeon General declared loneliness and social isolation to be a public health epidemic, noting that their health effects are comparable to smoking up to 15 cigarettes a day.

Because loneliness often coexists with depression, anxiety, or other conditions, a mental health professional will typically conduct a thorough assessment to understand the full picture. Validated instruments such as the UCLA Loneliness Scale (Version 3) and the De Jong Gierveld Loneliness Scale are frequently used in clinical and research settings to measure loneliness severity.

Evidence-based approaches to treating loneliness include:

• Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT): A meta-analysis published in Personality and Social Psychology Review found that interventions targeting maladaptive social cognition (the negative thought patterns that perpetuate loneliness) were the most effective at reducing loneliness. CBT helps individuals identify and challenge beliefs like "nobody wants to be around me" and replace them with more balanced thinking.
• Social skills training: For people who struggle with starting conversations, reading social cues, or maintaining friendships, structured social skills programs can build confidence and competence.
• Supported socialization and community-based programs: Group activities, peer support groups, volunteer work, and mentorship programs provide structured opportunities for meaningful contact.
• Addressing co-occurring conditions: When loneliness occurs alongside depression, anxiety, or trauma, treating these conditions in parallel often leads to the best outcomes.

Self-help strategies also play a role. Scheduling regular contact with friends or family, limiting passive social media scrolling, practicing small acts of social engagement (such as greeting a neighbor or chatting with a coworker), and pursuing shared-interest activities can all gradually rebuild a sense of connection.

Occasional loneliness is a normal part of life, especially during transitions such as moving to a new city, starting a new job, going through a breakup, retiring, or losing a loved one. However, when loneliness becomes chronic, lasting weeks or months without relief, it can take a serious toll on both mental and physical health.

You should consider seeking professional help if:

• Your loneliness has persisted for several months and is not improving on its own.
• You have lost interest in activities you used to enjoy.
• Your loneliness is accompanied by persistent sadness, hopelessness, or anxiety.
• You are using alcohol, food, or other substances to cope with feelings of isolation.
• Your sleep, appetite, or daily functioning has been significantly affected.
• You are having thoughts of self-harm or suicide. If so, please contact the 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline immediately by calling or texting 988.

A licensed therapist, psychologist, or counselor can help you understand the root causes of your loneliness, develop practical strategies for building connection, and treat any co-occurring mental health conditions. Reaching out for help is a sign of strength, not weakness.

For more information on loneliness and its effects on health, visit these resources:

• American Psychological Association: Loneliness
• U.S. Surgeon General's Advisory on Social Connection
• NHS: Every Mind Matters, Loneliness